Rachel GuerreroUpon this journey of self-love, I have learned to enforce strong boundaries in my life. Being recently diagnosed with Lupus, I have now had to enforce these even more and take the risk to prioritize myself. If you grew up in a house where you had a parent who struggled with their own mental/physical health, you learn at a young age to put their needs first and in return, neglect your own health. In addition, being raised in a stressful environment in which I shared a space with many fights, divorce, and illness, caused chronic stress that could have been a cause for this auto immune. Learning the relationship between my current body and triggers because of my childhood has furthered my understanding and has led me to prioritize my peace even more.
Listening to my body
One of the biggest things I fell short of was the art of listening to my body. Growing up, I had to take care of myself, and this often meant pushing myself to do things even when sick. I was afraid that If I slipped up, I wouldn’t be taken care of and out of survival, would force myself to always preform. I no longer want to live that way. I now work alongside my body and prioritize it above anything else. When I feel sick, I rest. When I need to stop and recover, I recover. I give myself a lot of leeway with food, sleep, and missing things. It took me 20 years to realize my health was the most important thing, and I finally now treat is as so. Your health is your most important thing in your life, feel grateful and cherish it when you can.
Learning when to say “no”
For a long time, I had a problem with people pleasing. I almost never said no to birthday parties or outings because I always had put other’s feelings of disappointment over my health. Now, I freely say no to plans and obligations as I need to because I have learned it’s okay not do things when my body is telling me to stop.
Gentle movements and words
This was probably the biggest challenge I had to accommodate to as I grow in self-love and acceptance.
Being gentle with myself through movement and words does not make me weak. I no longer must hide my anxiety and sickness when I go out, I can embrace it with upmost grace. Not having a stable, loving voice in my head (that was preferable developed in childhood), I begin to mother myself through my everyday pain. I am soft and merciful and tell myself I am loved and safe, even when I cannot do things because of anxiety or illness. I talk to my inner child with love and guide her through the day and remind her she is not alone in her symptoms.
Not interacting with certain items
My last big adjustment I have made is becoming “selfish” with the things I use and the people I spend time with. I put “selfish” in quotations, because having boundaries that support your well-being isn’t selfish (this took me 20 years to understand). Before, I often shared my drinks and food, as well as spent time with people who are sick. Now that I understand my immune system does not work the same as others, I will no longer allow such to occur.
Many of these practices would have appeared selfish to me a year ago, but now are essential in helping my healing process and I am so thankful to be able to establish these boundaries. I hope you learn how to set up healthy boundaries as well—Remember, healthy boundaries come from a place of self-love.
With Love,
Miss Rachel