Rachel GuerreroTraining for such a big task has been difficult to navigate. There are many paths that can be taken when dealing with our hike. I’ve noticed that different paths motivate different people. For my co-hiker who loves challenges, she feels motivated by competition. Others may find their workout inspiration in appearance or inspiring others to get the ideal body. Un-motivated by these things, whether that be a lack of confidence in myself or just simply and unimpressed personality, finding my own drive has to come from a different place.
Being on your own path can be hard, because It may have the illusion of being the wrong one. I’ve always felt one step behind others, especially in sports. Being awkwardly skinny with little strength has always made me feel physically inferior. I’ve always ran because it makes me happy, but when I started going to the gym to obtain a certain figure, I lost all motivation because I couldn’t look a certain way. Thats when I realized I needed a deeper motivation to workout. I wanted to feel strong and capable in protecting myself and others on the trail.
Now that I have identified my motivation, what must I do to get there? This approach seemed difficult as almost every health blog/website is geared to workout out for vanity. “Don’t over cardio if you want to gain muscle mass” or “Starve and only do intense exercises to loose”. When following others workout regimes, I quickly failed. For one, most workout plans are aligned with society’s current beauty standard. These didn’t work well with my body type as I have struggled to gain and hold an appetite for food throughout my life.
After many trials and errors I have figured out what works best for me, but I feel it is shamed upon by society’s beauty schedule. Instead of working against my body, I began to work with it. When dealing with strong anxious mood swings, It can be hard to hold a steady appetite. While I do aim to eat clean and supply my body with the nutrients it needs, I also offer easier options. When preparing for an early morning exam, my appetite is almost non-existent. Providing comfort foods such a cookies or chocolate milk allows me to still get the calories I need, but also allows me to eat with peace. I used to feel like this was due to a lack of maturity, I remember feeling ashamed and asking myself, “Why can’t I just eat a whopping 700 calorie protein pancake and be prepared”. But in reality, there is nothing immature about feeling your emotions, even when they take over parts of your stomach.
Along with eating easy foods and getting back into the joy of running, I am patient with body. I am grateful for what it does bring me. Only when I started truly to listen to my body and allow it to experience all its imperfections, is when I became my healthiest. I run despite the fact that I don’t gain as much curve, because it is what is best for my mental being. I still have so much training, but beginning with an understanding for my body, I am already there.
With Love,
Miss Rachel